The Good Samaritan: This chap will usually head off in a straight line to find everybody
else’s’ ball and then ask “did anyone see where mind landed?”.
The Long Hitter: This chap hits his drive 180 yards yet waits to hit his favourite 7 iron 200
yards to the green.
The Caddy: Always stands close offering unwarranted advice on the distance to the
green and pin positions but seems unable to work it out for his own shots.
The Librarian: Read every golfing book and can’t wait to impart all this knowledge onto
The Professional: Took at least one golf lesson in his life and can’t wait to tell you what
wrong with your game.
The Mastermind: Has a little knowledge of the rules of golf and a dog-eared rules book
in his bag. Should you have the misfortune to invoke a rule he will spend 20 minutes
looking up the exact rule so as to prove you wrong.
The Optimist: Plays off 20+ but likes playing with single figure golfers. Walks to their
drives expecting his own to be there but has to retreat 50 yards to find his in the rough.
The Doubter: You inform him he has gone OOB but he insists on walking 200 yards to
the boundary to prove you wrong only to have to retreat to the tee box to play his 3rd.
The Journalist: Has read the morning papers from cover to cover and takes pleasure in
imparting yesterday’s news on you page by page.
The Perfectionist: He will first check his grip and stance, take 12 practice swings before
striking the ball and another 6 after his shot.
The Photographer: This chap walks 100 yards to every green to evaluate best angle to
take approach shot from.
The Expert: Generally, plays off 15, has a remarkable knowledge how every shot is
played by the Pros on the TV and likes nothing better than explaining how you can use
these techniques to improve on your 2 handicap.
The Magician: Able to hit a ball into the middle of a lake yet still finds it sitting on a tuft
of grass. Unwilling to share how he does this trick.
The Tortoise: Makes his way tentatively along 1st fairway with his electric trolley and
generally travels about 5/6 holes before it becomes stationary. He then says he thought
the battery was charged.